Hurt me

Hurt me:
As I lace my runners up, she is already at me.
I hear her taunting and coaxing me. I can never say no.
I enter the trail I love and know so well. She is on me.
I hear nothing but her, she wants me to give in and I always do.
Like an addict waiting to let go, I do. I give in and I go.
I run as hard as I can, my legs scream, my lungs burn.
I push and she is all over me, I love her and I hate her.
I long for her when I am without her, as with her I am whole.
I am who I am meant to be, I feel the limits of my existence, yet I ignore them and push more.
She is there in my head, wanting me to go with her to escape to her, and I do. I always do, I belong there in that space.
I can never explain to anyone how I feel when I hurt, how good I feel. How I long to push my body to the most hurt I can., how when I do there is always more, I can always find more in her. Hurt is nothing to fear, I embrace her as my love and yet she can be a foe, as she makes me crave so much more. I love to run as hard as I can and feel her all over me. She is there and I ignore my body and only listen to her as a lover in my head, whispering to me to push harder, make it hurt more, and I do. I go to her and I run till I feel my legs giving out and even then there is more, there is always more. The limits for hurt are endless and I want to explore the deepest most intense suffering I can, as only then have I had the closest experience to perfection I can have. I crave it and each day as I sip my coffee and anxiously prepare for a run, I know soon I will be as free as the bird on my arm.........